Friday, April 18, 2008

Something's burning

We’ve all seen this forward a million times but it seemed like my own personal anthem the first time I read it and will now be the appropriate way to end to my intense – but mercifully brief – affair with the kitchen stove. All rise.

Delia Smith's Way Vs My Way

DS: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.
Me: Suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone. You are probably eating it lying on the couch with your feet up anyway.

DS: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Me: Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. DO NOT OPEN.

DS: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Me: Bakeries sell cakes. You can get a slice each of seven different types at one go.

DS: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
Me: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, please recite the Real Woman's motto: 'I made it and you will eat it.' Butcher's knife in one hand, optional.

DS: Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Me: It could keep forever. Who eats it?

DS: When catering for an evening buffet, calculate food portions and timings a week in advance, so that you're not rushing on the night.
Me: Open menu drawer. Select menu. Locate phone under pile of CDs. Dial. Order.

Freeze left-over wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles.
Me: Left-over wine?

Something's Burning, Kenny Rogers & The First Edition. Album by the same name, 1970

No comments:

Blog Archive